Choices

Today was a big day. Today was the consultation with Dr. Bedient to go over the results of the last month of tests. I've written about 2 of the tests, but there were more as well.

The first round was an appointment for blood tests- I think there were 6 vials. You should know something about me: I HATE needles. I hate having shots and I hate having blood drawn. As a child, my nurse mom would give us flu shots and I remember dramatically running away and around as she sat patiently until the patience ran out. Haha....now I just look away and pretend its not happening! So, 6 vials?! Awesome. I also have really difficult veins to prick- I am convinced they reside deep in the middle of my arm and retract even further when they sense a needle nearby. So, having blood drawn is rarely a super easy endeavor. ugh.

Anyhoo, there is that appointment and then once your cycle starts, there is another test on day 3 (only ONE vial thank the baby Jesus), and then the HSG and Sonogram are scheduled between day 7-10.

SO- test results are in. I brought my best friend with me since my family is physically in Texas. They are on my phone before and after the appointment, but during- its besty time. We met with Dr. Bedient, who was happy to have a second set of ears there because it is a lot of information, and began.

Overall, the results were not the worst thing in the world, but they were not great by any stretch. For someone my age (36.5) they expect about 10-20 eggs to be in the ovary at the time of the test. I had 6. SIX. like..... 1 2 3 4 5 SIX. Ok, so that's not stellar. Continuing.....

The hormone levels that talk to the ovary from my brain are a bit off so thats not great either. There was some good news- my blood tests from the first round (remember all the millions of gallons they took lol) said that I am in really good health, all of the levels of thyroid, sugars, blood cell count, etc are wonderful. Also, remember that missing fallopian tube? Well, it seems it IS there- it just freaked out (called a spasm) when the contrast dye was being pushed in. THAT fallopian tube is a lady and said no way! So that is good....helps the odds out a lot.

Because of the low egg count and the hormone issues, I, along with Dr. Bedient, think that IVF will be the most efficient route to getting preggers. She asked me lots of questions about what path I want to go on, what my timeline was, and did I want to freeze the eggs and get pregnant later. I really appreciated her style and really talking WITH me and not AT me. She made sure I understood what she was saying and answered all of my zillion questions. (heres a neat site to help with predictions on success rates as well as other information- SART - Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology)

Here is where we are at: I am going to proceed forward with IVF. I could wait to see if Mr. Amazing (Who I may have already met and our timing is off- anything is possible right?!) will come along and then try to get pregnant. But lets look at that timeline IF I meet them this week: Meet, decide he is not going to kill me, go out more times. Month 6 I think he's a keeper. Get serious serious, not kinda serious. Month 12 move in together. Decide I hate how he cleans- will get over. Month 16 get engaged (life is short), Month 24 get married and then try to have a baby. At this point my eggs will look like Kirsten Dunst and Madeleine when they meet the sun in "Interview with the Vampire." Forget about it being mine and then we have to do ALLLLL of what I am looking to do now anyway. UGH. No thank you.

I am going forward and the emotional part of me is sad that I may not have a biological child with the man I future love. But, seriously, WHAT is he doing and where the hell is he? While I would love to try and solve that issue, this issue is bigger and whoever he is will now find me with a SUPER cute mini me tagging along. And that is just fine.

I had a really great talk with my mom and my Aunt ( a labor and delivery nurse), and they are so awesome. Everyone is so supportive and amazing. I am a lucky girl. While this is all a lot to take in and deal with, can be very overwhelming and emotional, it is also freeing to take charge of what I want and go forward.

Now I have to meet with the finance department to see what my insurance does and doesn't cover and figure out the money part. This is not cheap. at. all. Also, I have to find the donor who will be the lucky one. Stay tuned!!!!

Me :)